Saturday, December 31, 2011

New blog design

I needed something new, especially with the new year around the corner, and with his 3rd birthday behind us, I thought now would be a good time to revamp.

I got Brea to do my other blog last month, and I just loved it so much I wanted one done for this blog! She just posted about my design, and had really made me feel special. She was so much fun to work with the first time, and I feel as if I’ve gotten to know her in the last 2 months! She was willing to work with me, and wasn’t too upset when I was pushing this design back and back and back because of my trip to the mainland, I felt real bad about it. But she was so understanding, besides, she had her own Christmas stuff going on. I think it worked out rather perfectly really!!

I gave her pretty much complete artistic reign. She gave me a few options, and I told her which ones I liked, and what I wanted included. I think she did a great job. I’m very much in love with this design. Maybe even more than the other one she did!!!

Saturday, December 10, 2011

3 Years

It’s hard to believe that I went to bed 3 years ago with my son with me, and then woke up to go deliver him, and give him to his adoptive family.

That was a rough night, I was anxious about everything, but I was so ready to be done with the pregnancy, that I don’t think it really sunk in as to what I was really doing.

I knew I was going to go through with it, I never once questioned that. I didn’t necessarily want to give him to the adoptive family, but I knew that keeping him was not what was best for him, or myself.

The first few nights after the birth and placement were pretty rough. It didn’t dawn on me until after how much of an impact this had all taken on me, or would have taken on me. And it hit like a ton of bricks.

You know how people who have gone through a loss, especially an infant loss (or adoption), say that they wake up thinking they heard a baby? That didn’t really happen to me, it was more of an emptiness. I’d wake up feeling empty. My arms felt empty, my womb felt empty. I’d find myself rocking myself to sleep. Crying until I could no longer cry.

I’m just so glad that I’m not there, at that point any more. I miss him like crazy, and I think of him EVERY DAY! But I’m happy with my decision, and my life. I really wouldn’t want to change a thing. And I think that says a lot about where I’m at.

So happy birthday son. I love you and miss you so much!

Friday, December 2, 2011

Sick Sick Sick and Oh, a new blog design

So I had my other blog redone, by Brea @ Utterly Chaotic Designs, and she did such a great job, so I thought I’d get her to make me one for this blog! :)

Now onto more pressing matters, I’m sick, started w/ a sore throat yesterday morning, turned into both ears hurting after a 6 hour nap, yes, that’s right folks, 6 hours. And today it was no better, so I went to the Dr. It’s just a viral infection, and they gave me 2 cough medicines, but nothing else. Kind of sucks being sick with your husband being so far away. But I have great friends, so if I need anything I can just ask. I’m so blessed!!