Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Day 7 of the challenge

Day 7 — Write a letter to: Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Dear "sperm donor" - I haven't heard from you in 2 years, you sent what seemed to me as a half-hearted response to my email about our son. I find it very hard to believe that you really did care, or wanted to help me. And the fact that you didn't believe me about the child being yours just shows what a complete and total jerk you really are. Do you really think I had anything to gain by lying to you about a child I wasn't keeping? And the fact that you felt as if there was nothing you could offer me at the time pisses me off, you didn't give any support to me during the pregnancy, birth or placement. I don't mean monetary, I mean emotional. I never asked for money, I didn't even ask for emotional support. But a good man would have offered some, instead of pushing me aside, and telling me lies. Apparently you have a higher sperm count than you thought, and your poor gay friend was out a child, but here our 5 woman with a child that we didn't plan for.
You showed little disregard for me as a person, and only cared about covering your ass. Remember the email my friend sent to your then girlfriend, and the phone call you made to me, telling me to tell her it wasn't true. How low, I'm still so confused by that. Why wouldn't you have just come clean then. As much as I wanted to reach out to her and tell her it was true, I didn't. I'm not quite sure why I never told her, but I didn't. It wasn't for me to do, that was your mistake to tell her about. And I hope that it came back to bite you in your ass. 
And I don't doubt for a minute that there are other children, what I find hard to believe is that of the 4 other girls who claim to have had your child you didn't even know 2 of them. And hearing that you possibly have 4 other children around the same age as our son just solidifies my decision to have you sign over all rights and give him to another man who blows you out of the water. I couldn't have picked a better family for our son, and the fact that you will never know him is bittersweet. I hate that he'll never know what a truly awful human being you are, but I'm so glad he'll never know that as well. I don't plan on bad mouthing you to our son in the future, nor did I bad mouth you in the letter I wrote him before he was born that his parents have so he can read it. You might find that hard to believe, but I thought I'd let him make his own decisions about you. And who knows, years from his birth you might be a wonderful man, married and with children of your own. I hope that is the case, I hope you have seen the errors of your ways and I hope you one day find happiness. But I don't think you have yet.
I'm very happy with my life now, and I have a wonderful husband now, and he'll make a better father than  you will probably ever make. So thank you for being you, and giving me a  beautiful son.  

Tell me: A song that reminds you of a certain event

Our first dance at our reception - Boston's "Amanda" because my father told me that whoever I married had to learn this song by heart when he asked him if he could marry me. Lucky for Steven he didn't make him sing it, lol

I want to know: A photo that makes you happy.
this because it was the happiest day of my life, and it shows off my pretty flowers and shoes!

Tell me about Your dream wedding.
I thought I had my dream wedding all figured out, but my wedding with hubby was pretty good. It wasn't lavish or fancy, it was just family and very small. It's no secret that I would have wanted more, or done things somewhat differently, but I wouldn't change who I married, and I have decided that I no longer care how my wedding turned out, it's the marriage that matters. And I'm very happy with my husband and our life together. And that my friends, means more to me than any fancy wedding.