Surprise

I was going through my reading list on blogger, and I saw my picture, I was like, uh, what, and then I remembered that a few months ago, Monika from BirthMom Buds Blog contacted me to be the spotlight blogger! And she told me that it would run on Oct 14, which is today, and I forgot, even though I knew it would happen, I just forgot…so go here and check it out, it’s just another little part of my story and journey as a birthmom.

5QF

Rules for 5QF: Copy and paste the following questions to your blog post. Answer them, then watch for the linky post to appear tomorrow morning! Remember that this post is NOT the post with the linky list on it...that is tomorrow!
Oh, and remember to have fun!!!
Also, feel free to play along on Twitter! We've had some people do that in the past couple of weeks and it's a fun, different way to answer the questions!
Questions for Friday, October 7th: (Special thanks to @tarabuzz, @signingcharity,@gasfamily, @trooppetrie, and Sandy for their question suggestions! I would LOVE to link YOU in a future 5QF, so c'mon over to my community and offer up your best question suggestions! Or watch for my Twitter shout out on Thursdays, and offer up your questions that way! Don't forget to @5crookedhalos me and use hashtag #5QF if you go the Twitter route!)
1. What is your go to comfort food or sweet?
Comfort food – that’d be Ice cream. Ben & Jerry’s Cookie Dough is always a good one, and any mint chocolate chip is good too, or a good chocolate….
2. What is the most romantic place you've ever been to?
Ohau & Maui
3. What is your favorite thing about fall/Halloween?
My anniversary…and the fall colors, and foods…
4. How would you spend 24 hours alone?
Oh I get 24 hours to myself ALL the time now that my husband is deployed, even though I rarely ever spend 24 hours straight alone. But I usually watch stuff on my dvr, play around on FB, play the Sims 3, eat whenever and whatever I want. Go where ever I want, whenever I want. It’s quite amazing…
5. Does you husband bring you flowers? Are you the bring-me-flowers type of girl?
He has only done it twice, to date. Once when we were dating, and then recently to “celebrate” making it half way through this deployment. And I love flowers, so I think I am the bring-me-flowers type…

Needs and Wants

"A Birthmother puts the needs of her child above the wants of her heart" - Skye Hardwick

This quote is from Birthmom Buds and it is just something that is so true.

I’ve always wanted to be a mother, I really feel like God wants me to be a mother, to raise children. But I know that the timing was off. I knew that what I had to offer a child at the time was not going to give my son everything he NEEDED, not so much what he wants, but what he needs. Sure I could have given him those things, but at what cost. Welfare and WIC and Foodstamps, crappy healthcare and even crappier childcare. Now, I’m not knocking those things, because I know that they’re needed, but those are temporary solutions to your problems, they’re not something that should be used long term. At least, in my opinion. I was on WIC when I was pregnant, so I’m really NOT against these programs. But I was only on it while I was pregnant, and then never went back on it. I was also drawing unemployment at one point, but that is temporary as well.

My son now has a roof, food, clothes, and two loving parents, and an awesome big brother. All of which I couldn’t really provide. Sure I had a roof and food and clothes, but what kind of childhood would he have had if I had raised him. He wouldn’t have known his father, as he didn’t want anything to do with him, and quite honestly, I wouldn’t force the guy to even pay child support, let alone force him to see the kid he didn’t want anything to do with.

It didn’t seem like a healthy choice for my son, battling it out in court with a guy who wanted nothing to do with him, and forcing this guy to pay for a child he wanted nothing to do with. I just can’t imagine the negative effects that would have had on him later in life.

I’m sure my son will have problems later in life, issues with the adoption, but I’d hope he’d realize that what I did, I did for him, and to give him a better life. And as much crap as I give the birthfather, I do hope that one day he comes around and realizes that this amazing little boy is his son, and will want to know him.

And I hope my son can see that I really did put his needs over my wants, because I really still feel like I did, to this day. I have no regrets about giving him a better life. And in turn, I gave myself a better life as well.