Sunday, January 31, 2010

My Adoption Story part 1

It just occured to me that I had not posted my adoption story. So here it goes...

I think I found out I was pregnant in March or April of 2008. My best friend and I were hanging out, like we normally did. We were talking and some how we got on the topic of pregnancy. She asked me some questions, I answered, and she was like, you're pregnant. I was like, whatever, NO. So we went to the drug store and bought a test. I took it, instant positive. I was like, WTH, so we went back and bought 2 more. I took a second one at her house again, positive...I ended up staying there that night, and decided that in the morning I would take another one. Freaking positive again...crap. I had called the guy who I thought was the father and told him. He made up some bull about how he couldn't be the father because he had a low sperm count, that he had it tested for a gay friend who wanted him to be a sperm donor...YEA RIGHT...at the time I was not sure if he was the father or if it was the guy before him. The dates were too close at the time. Well, about a week later I guess, I told my father. I went to the doctor, and found out about how far along I was, and knew right away that the guy I had called that weekend was in fact the father. Only problem is he denied it up and down.

I think every woman thinks they are going to parent when they first find out they are pregnant. I know I did. But then I thought about my options. Abortion was NOT an option for me. I knew a couple when I went to school who had a few miscarriages and how I thought they would make great parents. That is when the adoption plan came to theory. I e-mailed my friend, and told her what was up. We talked, they decided to pray it over and give me an answer when they got back from a mission trip. They knew God would let them know while there. And sure enough, they got the answer. She called me shortly after the trip, and told me they were honored, but that God wasn't leading them in that direction at the time. She mentioned another couple I knew, who I will bring up in a bit. I don't know if most of you knew that the people you asked to raise your child were going to say yes or no. I knew they were going to say no. So it wasn't a big surprise. And I don't think it affected our relationship at all.

Well, another good friend of mine had mentioned the same couple to me at another time. The first 16 weeks of my pregnancy were ROUGH, in and out of the hospital for dehydration and not being able to eat. Well, the last time I was in the hosptial (before I had him) a friend was having surgery and was going to come out of it not able to have children. I knew they wanted to adopt at some point. They had mentioned it to me before I got pregnant. But their plan was to have 2 of their own and then adopt. Well, they had 1 bio child  when they found out they couldn't have another. I had thought about them, but I knew that her hormones were all over the place and I didn't know if she could handle the adoption, and this that and the other. Well, after 2 people said "hey have you thought about so and so" I had to start praying about it. At the same time the mom had been emailing me and asking me questions, and I honestly dont remember how she found out I was pregnant, or how I told her. But one email she asked for me number. I thought it was really odd. But gave it to her anyways. A few days or a week or so later she called me and asked if they could pray about adopting my son. I said yes, and told her how 2 other people had mentioned them. A few months later they were going to a wedding out of state and were going to be coming through Chattanooga. They stopped for the weekend and took me to dinner and told me that they were in fact interested in adopting my son. Like I knew with the first couple, I knew they were going to say yes, and that I had in fact found the parents of my son. We kept in contact through email and phone calls. I sent them the ultra sound pictures in the mail after the appiontments, and we got a lawyer who could do out of state adoptions. I met with him and signed the papers I could sign before the birth and read over the ones I'd sign after the birth. We talked about how open we wanted it, and how we would handle things. Things kind of got swept under the rug when it came to that aspect, and it wasn't until after the birth I stepped up and said I wanted more communication. (but again, that's for later...)

I had gestational diabetes, and so the doctor did not want me to go past my due date. So the week I was due the mother came up to Chattanooga. She went to my last appointment with me and we set up the c-section for Wednesday (my appt was on Monday). I was unsure of whether I wanted the mom in the OR with me or not, and had told her that I would let her know the day of the birth. I knew it would mean a lot to her, but I just wasn't sure I'd be able to handle it. She got to witness the birth. So I let her come in. I got to see my baby boy right after he was born and love on him a little...seeing as I was still on the table...HA! They took him to get tested and what not, she went with him and stayed with him for the rest of the stay. The nurses at the hospital were super nice and had set up the OR next to mine in case I wouldn't be able to handle him in the same room with me. Our original plan was for me to NOT see him until the next day. And I really only saw him right after he was born. And didn't see him again until the next day. I got to spend some time with him, and hold him and love him and tell him how much I loved him. He was doing really well so they let him go "home" that day as well. The parents had to stay in Chattanooga for a short time, not sure of why, but it had to do with paper work and stuff. I had 10 days after signing to change my mind, which I wasn't going to do, but the law and stuff...it was so hard to say good bye. I cried my eyes out when I handed him to her. I remember hugging her and telling her how thankful I was for her. And how I knew my son was in good hands.

I think this is where I'm going to leave it for now. I'm tired, and this is long enough.

1 comment:

Rachel E. said...

I hope you finish the story! (up to this point in time, of course) I would love to hear the rest of it. You are such an amazing person to be able to place your son.