Day 12 of the challenge

Day 12 — Write a letter to: The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain


I hate to bet a dead horse, BUT this is my adoption blog, so the person who comes to mind is of course, the "sperm donor" - and he hurt me...and I'm afraid he's going to hurt his son, he just might not know it yet. (our son and "sperm donor")
Dear "sperm donor" - I don't think of you often, at least not as much as I use to. And for that I'm so glad. You are SO not worth my time, but yet, I wasted so much time on you.  I think it's time to let go, more than I have already. I just can't seem to wrap my head around the way you acted and the way you dealt with things. I bet your ex-girlfriend still doesn't "know" about all the girls you cheated on her with that produced your children. And that's her bad for not knowing her boyfriend was stepping out on her, but it's my bad for being reckless and stupid. I hope you apologized to her, I hope you groveled, and I hope you got everything you deserved. And I'm so grateful that you are no longer a part of my life, at least for now. And I hope that one day, our son can see what an ass his father was, and I hope one day you're there for him, like you should have been all along.



Tell me: A song from a band you hate
Not so much a band, but a person, and it's more of a song I hate than a person I hate, because well, I don't know Rebecca Black, so I can't say if I hate her, but this song is horrible, and someone should have stopped her from putting it out....

UGH, can't stand this song....she can't sing and sounds horrible...and it's a stupid song....





I want to know: How you got one of your scars.
Well, the one I think that I should talk about, because of what my blog is about, would be my c-section scar - I got that on Dec 10, 2008, It's pretty small, and I don't think you can see it, unless you're all up in my junk. And the doctor did a great job of putting it low enough that it doesn't get irritated when I wear jeans, although, some times it does. I had a c-section because my mid-wife thought my son would be 8 1/2 lbs, and my pelvis wasn't big enough, plus I was not progressing on my own, and he was just NOT ready to come out. By this time, the family was already in town, because it was the week of my due date, and my mid-wife said she wouldn't make me go pass my due date since I had gestational diabetes, and when she said she wanted me to wait another week I very nicely reminded her about not going pass my due date, which was Dec 11. I wanted to do it on the 10th because my birthday is July 10, and my brother's is Jan 10, and I thought it would be something neat to share with him, along with blood, LOL! So I had a scheduled c-section, and I am OKAY with having another one, I'd rather do that, than go into labor, and be in pain. It was GREAT! But every situation is different, and every hospital is different, so we'll see what happens next pregnancy.




Show me A photograph of the town you live in.

This is my favorite Chinese place in the city down the road from me, what's not pictured, is the strip club that is to the right, and the church that is to the left, LOL

Day 11 of the challenge

Day 11 — Write a letter to: A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Gramps & Me

Momee and Me

Gramps, Me, Momee

Gramps, Sweetie, Me, Mom, Momee

My great-grandfather (Gramps) - I'd love to hug him and spend time with him. I'd like to think he's proud of me, even though, I've not done half the things I wanted to, yet. He died on Halloween 2005. I graduated with my Associates degree in education in the summer of 2006, and I wasn't going to go to graduation, and walk, but once he passed, I knew it was something I needed to do. I did it for him. On my wedding day, which just happened to be the anniversary of his death, which I didn't realize until after the fact, we had a candle lit for him and my great-grandmother. I wanted him to be apart of my wedding day, and I think he was in more ways than I had realized because of the date of our wedding. I still remember the last thing we talked about, he was 99 years old, he'd lived in a different time, and I think he worked on a farm, or did some sort of farming/gardening, because he asked me to help him plant corn. He was in a nursing home, but we had 24 hr nurses with him, and the gentlemen who was with him that day knew a little something about planting, and said you need a harvest moon, or he thought you needed a harvest moon. Well, shortly after that conversation, and shortly before his passing, I was driving to a friend's house, and low and behold, there was a harvest moon, in front of me, it was SO big, and bright, and I will always remember that night. Gramps passed a month and 1 day short of his 100th birthday. If he were here today, he'd be 105. I still have his phone number in my phone, and I've had 4 or 5 phones since he passed, and a new number, but I like seeing his name every now and then. I've never called the number, I probably never will, but I just can't bring myself to remove it. I think if he were here today, I'd ask him if he were proud of me, even though, I know his answer would be yes, no matter what I do. I am really sad he'll never meet his great-great grandchildren, but he'll watch over us from Heaven. Because I know he's up there with Momee (my great-grandmother) looking after us all. And I know Sweetie (my grandmother) is up there too.
(This totally wasn't a letter, oh well, bahahaha)


Tell me: A song from your favorite band
this song is fitting, since my husband is deployed...it's kind of our song....



I want to know: A story from your childhood.
Oh gosh, a story from my childhood...let's see, I am going to go with my love for New Kids on the Block, and my grandmother feeding my addiction. My grandmother bought me everything NKOTB related, I had bed sheets, beach towels, backpacks, pencil bag, pencil sharpener, the Pins, ALL the dolls, every VHS with their music videos on them, the cassette tapes. My mother told me years later, when NSYNC came out that I was NOT to tell my grandmother that I liked them. 




Tell me What’s in your makeup bag?
Too much make up, that I don't wear! Ha! 

Day 10 of the challenge

Day 10 — Write a letter to: Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Emily - I miss you so much every day! I loved getting to spend some quality time with you when I was home. I wish there was time and money for me to be able to come back and visit, but there just isn't. I can't wait to hug your neck, and hug K-bug's neck too! Too bad it'll be a while, but maybe hubs will be with me, and she'll love him just as much as last time, and will want to have something to do with me! Hehehe....She was so funny with that, and as much as it hurt my feelings, it melted my heart to see her take to the hubs so much! I wish you were here with me to help me get through this deployment like I was with you. But knowing that you're just a phone call away is easing my mind a lot! Maybe if you and the hubs hit it rich ya'll can come out here and see me!!!! LOVE YOU!!



Tell me: A song that makes you fall asleep
Pretty much any Norah Jones - but this is a good one



I want to know: About a regret you have.
Not being good at calling people. I've never been good at making phone calls. In fact, I think I piss people off, or make them think I don't care about them. And that just isn't it at all. I love everyone in my life, I just have the worlds worst memory. And I know part of why I don't call someone (a certain person) is because I don't want them to think I want something. Because that use to be the only time I called. And I feel so guilty about that.

Show me A photo of our favorite place to eat.

Anyone who knows me, knows the picture that I'm going to post, so without keeping ya'll in too much suspense, here it is:

Day 9 of the challenge

Day 9 — Write a letter to: Someone you wish you could meet


Hmm, who do I want to meet...I am going to do something probably a little different here, and write to my bestie, who I've never met in person, but have been friends with for at least 5 years, maybe longer...and I'd LOVE to hang in real life with her...it might make me sound LAME, but I love my pen pal, and she's become such an amazing friend, and I would be lost without her! 
So, Mel - I just want to let you know how much I love you and can't wait to see you in person, I'd love to met the bubbas too! Hope all is well and that things work out for you. I miss you bunches, and hope we can continue to be as close as we are! You're the best friend a girl could ask for!! <3

Tell me: A song that you can dance to (I'm an overachiever and posted 2...lol)
I love Rob Dyrdek - so here are two of his intro's to his shows, Fantasy Factory and Rob & Big

(I am Not A Whore - LMAFO - Fantasy Factory)



(Do You Know(ping pong song) - Enrique Iqlesias - Rob & Big)




I want to know: A photo you took.

my neighbor's dog - Junebug!
I took it with my camera phone, but it is one of my faves!

Show me A photo of the item you last purchased.

Care package things: note pads, pens, envelopes, pillow, easter candy (terry's chocolate orange and godiva chocolate egg) and trash bags and not pictured 2 liter cokes (those last things aren't for the care package...)

Deployment número uno

My husband left a few days ago. He'll be gone a while, 12 months. I haven't really written about it much on here since this is mainly my adoption blog, but I figured I'd owe ya'll an explaination as to why I've not posted in a really long time.

So, back in March we went to the mainland, we were there for 2 weeks, and I really didn't have a computer to update one when I was there. We had a good trip. It was so stressful though. I'm glad to be back home. We spent time in Atlanta, Dahlonega, and Chattanooga. We saw everyone we could, and spent as much time with them as we could. It was hard to fit everything in but I think we did a pretty good job. I am not looking forward to another trip like that though, if I'm being honest. I told people I'd be back while the husband is deployed, but quite honestly, I don't know if I want to. I'm happy in Hawaii, and I'm comfortable here. Plus, flying to the mainland is SO expensive.

I'm doing a lot better with this than I thought I would, I have only really cried when he was getting on the bus, and other than that, I've been fine. That may make me sound like a heartless bitch, or that I don't care about him, but I do care, and I am not heartless, I just know that there is no use in crying for him when he isn't going to be able to do anything for you. I've gotten emails almost every day, and he's called a few times. It's hard though, because the internet where ever he is sucks, and there is a delay. We mostly email and skype IM. I've been keeping somewhat busy. I've been sick, so that makes it hard to stay super busy. I just mostly want to lay in bed and watch tv. And I don't know if it's because of the deployment or the illness. It could be both.

I've been missing my son lately too. It has been almost 5 months since I got an update, and I'm hoping I get one soon. It's suppose to be every 6 months, so I'm hoping for May. I know every time around the time I'm suppose to get an update I get upset, and think they won't send one, but I think that's just a fear all birth parents in semi-open adoption have. It's natural, if you think about it. Especially if it's been a while, I know for me, it's kind of like, did they forget about me, do they know it's time, I just hate the not knowing. And I hate not having control. I also hate the fact that they didn't acknowledge the package I sent them. A simple thank you note would be nice, or a little note saying they got it. I don't think they need to thank me for it. But just let me know you got it. Let me know you liked it, or let me know if he enjoyed the book I sent. I got the book for free, and I want to know that they use it, that they read it to him, and that I didn't win the book for nothing, that it could have gone to someone else, who would have used it. I guess I may never know, but I hope they at least tell me in the next update.