Monday, March 8, 2010


So instead of the dishes, I'm playing on Facebook and updating my blogger. I also need to do all 6 days of my bible study for tomorrow...

I enjoy my bible study, I just have the hardest time taking time every day to go over it. And then I'm rushed to go through it the day before we meet. Each week I go through the whole, next week will be different. I say I'll do it every day and I'll spend the 15 min. each day. But something happens, I wake up late, I get sidetracked on Facebook, I get glued to the TV, the husband needs something, I have a doctor's appointment, or lets just face it, I'm too lazy to do it. I think this happens with housework too. I absolutely HATE doing housework, I get overwhelmed by it. Right now our sink is FULL of dirty dishes, and I just don't know where to begin. Normally I'd start by emptying the dishwasher, but for some unknown reason, the dishes in the dishwasher are not clean. My husband doesn't like to put the dishes in the dishwasher as he uses them. I'm not sure why, but it snowballs, and then we have several dishes in there. And I love my husband, and he's good at cooking things, but OH MY WORD, he's the messiest cook EVER and he doesn't clean up after himself. Which I end up doing, which isn't a problem, but it could be days before it gets done. For all the same reasons my bible study doesn't get done.

I've never liked to clean things, and growing up my room was a wreck. You couldn't see any floor except right by the door, so you could open it, and there was a pile of stuff up to your knee. It worked for me, I knew where things were, kind of like organized chaos. One time when I was younger, my father took ALL my toys out of my room, and told me that if I could not keep my room clean for a year he would give them to charity. He took all but a tube that was hidden way back against the wall under my bed. I'm not sure how I came to find them, I just know I did, and I was soooooo careful NOT to let him catch me playing with them. Well, one day he came into my room while I was playing, and he let me keep them, since I had known about them for a while and had been keeping my room clean. Well, that didn't last long! All through middle school and high school, and then in college when I lived at home, my room was a wreck. I was dead set on NOT doing that at my dads house when I moved in with him. And I did an ok job at it when I was in my brothers room, but once I moved across the hall, it got pretty bad again. I would clean it more though. Well, now that I'm on my own, I want to have a clean house, I do. But I don't want to work for it.

Even the blog seems to be slacking because of the lack of drive. (It's now 1:40pm, and the last draft was saved at 1:04pm - see...)

I don't understand why I'm not wired to do stuff. I see pictures of people's homes, and how beautiful they are, and how neat they are. How well put together they are. I just can't seem to do it. I have a stack of dishes to do, a pile of clean clothes to fold, that need to be put back in the dryer so they aren't so wrinkled, and a load of towels in the washer that I need to dry and fold. I just don't understand where the drive comes from, or why I don't have it.

So now I'm going to try and do the dishes and laundry...and work on my bible study...if I can tear myself away from the compture. I might wait, seeing as my soap comes on in 5 min. But we'll see....I might try to get the dishes done before then, yea, that's what I'll do...

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