So last week I was talking with a lady who I admire and look up to. Not only as a wife but as a Christian and mother. So when this topic was brought up I listened and took it into consideration. I even prayed about it and talked to a close friend about it. And also remember I'm human and might have misunderstood what she was trying to say and it happened over a week ago so its a bit foggy.
The lady, we will call her Q because well 'Q' is a left out letter I think (along with 'X' and 'Z' but I'm getting off topic, ha). Ok so Q said that calling my son just that, 'my son' I was not distancing myself enough away from the situation and that in order to move on I should use some generic term like 'the baby' or whatever. Now before you go saying what does she know or how does she figure, believe me when I say she knows. And for privacy reasons and what have you I can't divulged that info. So here we go, she also said to think about it and not stop just because she said to. I am a logical person and realize different people cope in different ways. And she reminded me of that because she mentioned that what works for one won't work for others. Which is totally true. I mean, really. I honestly can sit(lay) here and tell you I have been thinking and praying over this issue since last Tuesday. And I think I'm finally able to publicly say that no matter what I call my son he will always be just that, my son.
His last name might be different and I might not be there for every little thing but he is half me. He carries on my mom and dads genetics. Not his adoptive parents genetics. Mine. And I don't think changing what I call him will make my life any different. He is who he is. Just like I am who I am. (popeye just popped in my head 'I yams what I yams' ha) ok so now that it is almost 2 hours since we laid down and the hubs is sound asleep on my shoulder while I write this on my phone, I think its ok for me to go to sleep. It feels good to not be fighting this alone...I guess, or whatever. I'm super sleepy now and making no sense. So its my cue to stop this post right now. So good night or good morning.
(I'm praying this works since I'm emailing it to blogger from my phone, eeep)