Preparation

So, I’ve been on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds for 3 years now, I’m not ashamed of that, and most people know that. I started them the day my son was born. I’d hate to imagine what would have happened had I not done that. Seeing as I had post partum, on top of the emotions of the adoption. It took a few tries to get the right combo, and once I got to Hawaii, it took 3 psychiatrists, but we finally got it, just a few months before my husband left for Afghanistan! So, now I’m doing really well, and feeling really great. Sure I have some moments, but I chalk that up to being “normal.”

Well, a few weeks ago I talked with my psychiatrists about getting off my anti-depressants (I’m was on 2) so that when the husband gets home we can start trying for kids. The anti-anxiety med is mostly used at night for RLS, and is okay to take when pregnant. So I’m not worried about that one. So last month I started tapering off one. And this week I talked with my psychiatrist again about the other one. The one I’m still on is a little trickier to tapper off, but we’re going to do it slowly, and with his assistance. We’re going this one in 2 steps, as opposed to 1 like the other one. I’m taking half of a pill for now, and when I go back to see the psychiatrist we will half that dose, and then from there stop it altogether.

We’ve done research, and we know that there isn’t that much out there about the medicines I was/am on doing any damage during pregnancy. But I would feel better if I’m off them. But wouldn’t be angry if I have to be on one of them. Because I’m doing fine without the other. We’ll see how I do off the other one. My psychiatrist said that it I might not feel any different off this one right away, so we’re going to see how I do.

I’m excited to start this new chapter, and I’m excited for my husband to be home. It’s been one hell of a year. So here’s to baby making! Well, let’s get my husband home first! HA!

Oh and I’m done with therapy! I had my last session this week! She said I’m doing so well that we really have no more to do!!!

Countdown fun

Got this from Red Hot :)

ten. Favorite Places to be. 
1. Anywhere with the husband
2. Sleeping
3. At home
4. With friends
5. Starbucks
6. Maui
7. The sofa
8. Computer chair
9. Neighbor's house
10. With loved ones

nine. Weird things about me
1. I don't like when my volume on the tv, radio, computer is an odd number, but I'm okay with it ending in a 5...
2. I love to plays Sims 3
3. I'm addicted to Facebook, and I'm pretty good at stalking
4. I can't wait to have children, but I'm in no rush
5. I have an addiction to nail polish and Scentsy scent bars
6. I try not to judge people - everyone has done things they're not proud of, and who am I to make a judgment about you, when I'm not perfect...
7. I love to dance, but I'm not good at it at all...
8. I will never eat another gummy bear in my life
9. My very best friend and I have never met in person, but we are closer than some of my family members...

eight. Things I am going to do this summer
1. Go to Maui
2. Stay in Waikiki
3. R&R
4. Work
5. Go to Vegas
6. Walk
7. Tan
8. Take hubby back to airport :(

seven. Things I am thinking of. 
1. My husband
2. Son
3. Babies
4. Family
5. Friends
6. Food (I'm hungry)
7. Sleep (didn't sleep well)

six. Things I am wearing. 
1. Old Navy Capris
2. Wal Mart Shirt
3. Silly Bandz (Hello Kitty, Tinkerbell)
4. Slippah's (flip flops)
5. Wedding ring
6. Birthstone ring

five. Things I am worried about
1. Hubby leaving
2. Money
3. Flying to Maui
4. Deployment
5. ???

four. Things on my floor
1. Clothes
2. Drinks
3. Shoes
4. Laundry Baskets

three. Things I want to do today
1. Play Sims
2. Cuddle
3. Sleep

two. Things I will reveal
1. We are not trying to get pregnant, but we're not preventing it.
2. I love having my husband home for R&R but a part of me can't wait for him to go back so we can get this deployment over with.

one. A Secret
Well, hmm, I was planning on coming home in August, but I just don't think I'm going to be able to afford it. So instead, for Labor day I might meet up with a friend in Vegas.

Let me just say...

that I am happy for the people who are pregnant. Do not take what I wrote the other day as me not being happy. It's just really hard on me right now.

baby fever

Everywhere I turn there are people who are pregnant, who have just had kids, and kids. I can't handle it any more. I'm in tears because I want to be one of the ones with a kid. I could just kick myself for giving mine up. What was I thinking. I know what I was thinking but I'm just in a real depressed mood right now. And it seems like every time I turn around someone else I know is engaged. I'm so sick of being single. I wanna settle down. Why haven't I found him yet?