Show Us Your Life

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July 15 - How did you share to your husband and families you were pregnant? (In my case, the baby daddy (or sperm donor as I like to call him), not husband)

So, I told the sperm donor first, over the phone…since he had a girlfriend, I didn’t want to text him, as that wouldn’t be cool if she got the text and not him. I didn’t want to rat him out, as it wasn’t my place. He was adamant that it wasn’t his, and that he couldn’t have gotten me pregnant, because a gay friend wanted him to be the sperm donor and they couldn’t use his sperm because of a low sperm count. Which doesn’t mean much, it was low, not zero. He pretty much wanted nothing to do with me, or the baby. And he didn’t want his girlfriend to find out. So we didn’t talk but a few times over the course of the pregnancy, and have only talked once or twice since his birth, and the last time I heard from him was almost 3 years ago. Which is fine by me.

I told my father before my mom, and it was while I was making pasta…I had no idea how to tell him, so I just blurted it out. His first words were “I already knew” and then he asked my plans for the baby and that I should think of adoption. He was super supportive of me, and helpful. His girlfriend at the time was also very supportive and wonderful.

Now, I told my mom after I had already decided that adoption was the way I was going to go. And she wasn’t very thrilled with the idea. She wanted to raise him, and as much as I would have loved to have him in my life. I just knew that it wasn’t what was best for him. I think she sees now that what I did was for the best, and that things worked out how they were suppose to.

I told my dad’s parents over the phone, after I decided on adoption, and because I knew they wouldn’t judge me or be upset with me. I mean, I’m sure they were upset by it, but I knew they wouldn’t hold it against me. I did not tell my mom’s parents, and up to this point, I don’t think they know. I had just dropped out of college, and I felt like I had let them down so much, and I had done that before, so I couldn’t bare upsetting them and disappointing them again. It was and still is very hard to keep that from them. But I think it was for the best.

I emailed the couple I had in mind for the adoption, and asked them to pray about adopting him. They ended up feeling that he wasn’t their child, and actually mentioned the family that ended up adopting him. Not only did they mention them, but another friend brought it up. AND on top of that, I had been thinking about them as well. They had just gone through some things, and were unable to have any more children, and I had known they were wanting to adopt, their plan was 2 biological children and then adopting. It just so happens God has different plans for them. We emailed back and forth while I was pregnant, and they ended up asking for my number, and calling and asking me if they could pray about it. So they did, and ended up adopting him. It’s amazing how God works things out.

I tried to keep the pregnancy quiet on Facebook. But people found out, and that’s fine. I ended up telling some people, other people decided to take it upon themselves to tell others. And that to me, is just hurtful. Why would you tell someone else’s story, that wasn’t yours to tell. I never confronted them. I never really brought that up before. Anyways, I’m not quite sure why I didn’t want it all over Facebook, mostly because I was embarrassed. I was ashamed that as an educated, 23 year old, I got myself in this situation. I know I shouldn’t have been ashamed or embarrassed. But I think everyone goes through that.

Eventually, I put it out there that I had a child, and placed him for adoption. I can’t remember how I did it. But it just came out. And I’m glad it did. I hope it helps someone else in my situation to make the decision to place their child, if that’s what’s best for the child. I love hooking up with people who have gone through what I’ve gone through, and I’m just hoping to help 1 person.

Show Us Your Life Friday - Things That Make Me Happy

This week's Show Us Your Life is all about things that bring you happiness and love!

Some of the things are my husband, my best friend's little girl (who I call my niece), mix "tapes" from friends, scrapbooking, writing letters, children, E! TV! The beach, music, rainbows, family(not pictured), God, love, pretty skies, sleeping, disney movies, a bagel and coke in the morning, video chats with my husband(well, then boyfriend, ha), food, pretty things, and a whole bunch of other things!!

I can't wait to see what makes you happy! (Hop over to Kelly's Korner to join in the fun!)

Show Us Your Life - Baby Names

This weeks SUYL topic at Kelly's Korner is very exciting for me, I have dreamt of my children's names for YEARS, I have ones I wanted, but those are not going to be able to get used, as they aren't ones my husband likes. But I'll tell you ALL of them, and the ones we have picked out, for when we have kiddos, we aren't pregnant yet, and probably won't be for a while, but it's still fun to think about! :) Here is Kelly's post about her baby names, go back to it to link up and read around! I bet we'll all get some great ideas for names!

Girls Names

My first name is Sarah, it's a family name. I want to pass it on, so I've always said my first girl is going to be Sarah something...I have tons of middle names I liked, and wanted to use, but then I met my husband, and he wants to use Grace, Faith, Hope, Joy as middle names for girls. So, I don't like Sarah Grace alone, and I am all about double names, I came across Emmaline while watching Army Wives, and reading the Bridal Quartet by Nora Roberts, and FELL IN LOVE! So our first girl is going to be Sarah Emmaline Grace and we're going to call her Emmaline Grace. Now most of you know me, and most know my BEST FRIEND's name is Emily Grace, and I am in NO WAY taking her name, but I thought it would be neat to use her name, since we're so close! I can't even think of other girl names because I can't figure out what would be good with Faith, Hope, or Joy, but I'm sure if we need to figure something out, we will come up with something great!

Boys Names

So my husband's named after his father and his mom's brother who passed in infancy. William is a name we want to pass on, since it is a nice name, but we don't want to do a junior, even though I've always, secretly, loved the idea! So our first boy will be William, but we can't decide on a middle name. The husband wants to use William Robert and call him Billy Bob, but I've nixed that idea. NO WAY...the poor kid! Ha! We have PLENTY of time to come up with something. But I want to name my second boy James Alexander, that is the boys name I have always wanted to use, but I can wait. We might not have two boys, but if we do, I'm hoping to get James Alexander used!

Show Us Your Life

I'm an unemployed newlywed housewife who doesn't do anything but play on Facebook and watch General Hospital and Ellen so I figured nobody would want to know about my day, but I'll share anyways.

Actually, my day is a little more eventful than that....but this week, since his best friend is in town, it's been a lot of sight seeing, mall going and beach going, I'd like to fit the beach into my days more often now! I'm loving it!!

5:15am - Hubby gets up for PT

7:45am - Hubby gets home from PT, showers, eats breakfast

8:30am - Hubby leaves for work

9am to 11am I will wake up, except Tuesdays when I get up at 7:30am so I can be done showering when Hubby comes home from PT, I'll dry my hair while he showers

9am to 11am I have breakfast and get on Facebook to check on all the games I play there (it's quite sad, I think I'm addicted...) I also check my email, go to the forums and generaly fool around on the 'net...And since we're 5 hours behind most people on the mainland I have plenty to catch up on!

12-12:30pm - Hubby comes home for an hour for lunch

1-1:30pm - Hubby goes back to work

2pm to 6pm - I watch General Hospital and The Ellen Show, sometimes I feel to lazy to change the channel and will watch Judge Judy and then the news. All while playing on Facebook!

3:30 and 6pm - Hubby comes home from work (Thursday's he is suppose to come home at 3 or 3:30 for "Tropic Lighting Thursdays" - close of business is 3:30pm Post-wide)

After Hubby gets home from work we figure out what we're going to do for dinner. Either I have already started dinner when he gets home, or I start it if I'm cooking. He cooks a lot in our house. We don't have much we cook though, it's pretty standard, Hamburger Helper, Baked Spaghetti, Chicken Divan, Frozen Lasagna or Manicotti, Tacos, Sheppards Pie(thats a new one), sometimes we'll do BBQ Chicken, or I'll do Kickin' Chickin' seasoned Chicken, or Italian Seasoned Chicken, it just varies...but this is getting to be more about what we eat, than a typical day in my life, so that can be another post! ha!

Starting next Wednesday night we are doing the Dave Ramesy series, the Army Community Services(ACS) on Post is offering it for FREE to all Military families! I'm so excited about this because I think it will do wonders for us! I have heard nothing but GREAT things!

Every Tuesday morning, or well, most Tuesday mornings, I get up early to go to Bible Study. It's a ladies Bible Study, they have several classes to take and I decided to take the scrapbooking one, and found out this week that next "semester" the lady leading will be doing another scrapbooking one! I will totally be signing up for that!

Another thing we have at least once a month is a FRG meeting, a Hail & Farewell, and I have a doctor's appointment once a month as well. Other than that it's pretty up in the air what we do during the day.

I do dishes and laundry when needed, but it isn't every day, dishes are more every day than laundry, and speaking of laundry I have a basket full of clothes that need to be folded, I'm just lazy! Ha!

Another thing I want to start doing is going to the gym, there are some classes I want to take, to try and lose some of this baby weight that I just can't get rid of, but I have to wait til we get paid so I can buy a sports bra, exercise without one is pretty hard to do when your boobs are as big as mine! (God has blessed me, as the flatter chested ladies say! ha)

Go here to see the schedule for Show Us Your Life Fridays.

Go here to link up your post, or just see what other people's days are like!

Hope you enjoyed seeing what it is like to be an unemployed newlywed in Hawaii! I look forward to visiting your lives! And I'm sure people have so much more going on than I do! I look forward to the day when I can either be busy with a job or busy with a child!

Show Us Your Life Friday

Show Us Your Life - Your Ministry

Sorry this is so late in the day, but I hope it finds someone and is able to help others. I'm not the most knowledgable about Adoption and Birthmom things. But I want to help other girls who have been in my shoes make more of their lives after placement. My heart breaks for all the birthmothers out there who don't have the support system I did. I was very blessed to have such amazing friends and family. I've had my ups & downs, but that is normal in any situation, in any life. But I'd like to help someone decide on what to do if they are ever placed in a situation of parenting or adoption. I am wanting to be a sounding board for women who find themselves pregnant and alone. So, if you know someone who is struggling, please send them my way. I can try my best to listen, comfort and support. I might not know the answers to your questions or concerns, but I can sure do  my best to help you find it. Two heads are better than one, so they say!

Show us your life - Wedding Dress Edition

A friend of mine, Christie did a thing from this site last month called Show Us Your Place Friday and now they're doing Show Us Your Life Fridays, the site is Kelly's Korner.

This week is Show Us Your Life - Wedding Dress

Well, I'm not married, but every little girl dreams of their wedding day and has a picture of their perfect dress. So if I could have any dress it would probably be this one I found the other day when looking around.



It's a Mori Lee by Madeline Gardner, I would probably loss the ribbon. Or exchange it for a pink or green one, seeing as I want my wedding colors to be pink and green.

Next week Kelly's Korner is doing wedding party - so I'll post the bridesmaids dresses and stuff I liked next week!