So a friend, yes Jasmine we're still friends, brought up some good points on Facebook about my last post that I must have not written....and so I want to clarify...
First, I'm an advocate for open adoption, if I know of someone leaning toward adoption I try and get them to take the open adoption route. So I don't think its wrong that Catelynn and Tyler get to see or want to see their daughter. Its just very hard on me to see people with their birth children, especially when its been a while since I've gotten an update on mine. It has nothing to do with Catelynn and Tyler as people, as I think they're the best ones on the show. And this might come off selfish, but its not meant to be, but its all about how it makes me feel and how I can handle it. And if I can't handle something then I don't think I should put myself in that situation and so I don't have to watch the show. I really didn't have to blog about why I'm not going to, but it just brought up feelings I wanted to get off my chest....
As for Maci, I don't think she's a bad person, per say, I just don't agree with everything she's done and all she's said to Ryan. I also don't agree with how Ryan handled things. And really that's all I meant by her being a reason why I didn't want to watch it any more.
But the main reason I think I need to stop is because of the adoption story lines. I hope that cleared things up and I hope if ya'll had questions you'd ask...I won't get upset or not be your friend anymore. Promise! I wrote that other blog really late so I might have left stuff out...sometimes my brain and fingers get out of sync.
Amanda
Monday, October 11, 2010
Oops
The last post was suppose to be a break up, which my friend, Holly, did last week or something. Not an apology and thank you, but it just went that direction, nothing wrong with that, but I just figured I'd do my break up now...
I'm breaking up with Teen Mom and 16 & Pregnant...I never really agreed with what MTV was doing, I don't think there is anything glamorous about teen pregnancy and unwed pregnancy. But it happens, and I think it is something that should be brought up. I don't like how they continued to have Gary and Amber fighting in front of Leah, and I don't like that they didn't step in and stop it, or use their resources to get them help, because honestly, if someone is going to use physical violence on someone they claim to love, then they need help, something is wrong. I don't like how Gary would let his friend talk him into being rude to Amber when he was trying to do something nice for her. But I watched anyways...it was a guilty pleasure, not something I'm proud of, not something I'd go back and redo...
I couldn't believe Farrah's mom would hit her, and then have knives in her hand when the cops showed up and not think that was wrong. And I don't see how she didn't know how the death of the father of Sophia didn't effect Farrah...I don't care if they were broken up at the time, someone your daughter loved, and made a child with just died, don't you think it might effect her a little, couldn't you be a bit more sympathetic? I think there is hope for their relationship though, now that they are going to therapy, and I think it is great that the therapist stood up for Farrah and was like, dude shut your mouth and listen to your daughter, and stop trying to make it okay, when clearly it's not right now...
And I just don't even want to get into the Maci thing, she makes people from Chattanooga look bad. Especially with that horrible tan job...no, seriously though, it's just horrible...
But the MAIN reason I'm breaking up with Teen Mom and 16 & Pregnant is because of the adoption storyline they've taken. Catelynn and Tyler are great people, and I think what they did was awesome, I mean, obviously, I chose what they did for my son, but it is just so hard for me to see/hear of people who have open relationships with their children that they placed for adoption. And I don't know if I will be able to handle it on the Finale, and so I'm going to fast forward, I've decided to watch it, since I've watched the whole season anyways, but I'll fast forward through the reunion part...then there is another girl, who was suppose to be on last season's 16 & Pregnant, but I've seen her for the new season, and she blogged about her experience with adoption and her decisions, and when she would get people who were trying to give her support she would bad mouth them or get smart with them, but there were people who were just rude to her. But the ones who were nice and trying to help her didn't deserve that, and I don't think it was fair to the adoptive parents or her daughter to flip flop back and forth with yes I'm going to adopt and no I'm not, I mean, she went so far as to give the child to them, and take her back not once, not twice, but I think three times. And that to me is just hurtful. It's one thing to not know what you want to do, and to realize that you've made a mistake, but a child is not a toy or a dog, and you can't just give it back every time things get hard. I'm half curious how they spin it, or show it, and I'm half curious to see what she ended up doing, because I stopped following her blog after the 2nd time of taking her and giving her back. I just couldn't stomach it any more, and I couldn't stomach the rude comments she was getting, and the rude stuff she was saying back to people.
If there is one thing I've learned, in adoption, and in life in general, it's that you honestly can't say what you would or wouldn't do until you've been put in the situation, and what works for me, might not work for you.
I'm breaking up with Teen Mom and 16 & Pregnant...I never really agreed with what MTV was doing, I don't think there is anything glamorous about teen pregnancy and unwed pregnancy. But it happens, and I think it is something that should be brought up. I don't like how they continued to have Gary and Amber fighting in front of Leah, and I don't like that they didn't step in and stop it, or use their resources to get them help, because honestly, if someone is going to use physical violence on someone they claim to love, then they need help, something is wrong. I don't like how Gary would let his friend talk him into being rude to Amber when he was trying to do something nice for her. But I watched anyways...it was a guilty pleasure, not something I'm proud of, not something I'd go back and redo...
I couldn't believe Farrah's mom would hit her, and then have knives in her hand when the cops showed up and not think that was wrong. And I don't see how she didn't know how the death of the father of Sophia didn't effect Farrah...I don't care if they were broken up at the time, someone your daughter loved, and made a child with just died, don't you think it might effect her a little, couldn't you be a bit more sympathetic? I think there is hope for their relationship though, now that they are going to therapy, and I think it is great that the therapist stood up for Farrah and was like, dude shut your mouth and listen to your daughter, and stop trying to make it okay, when clearly it's not right now...
And I just don't even want to get into the Maci thing, she makes people from Chattanooga look bad. Especially with that horrible tan job...no, seriously though, it's just horrible...
But the MAIN reason I'm breaking up with Teen Mom and 16 & Pregnant is because of the adoption storyline they've taken. Catelynn and Tyler are great people, and I think what they did was awesome, I mean, obviously, I chose what they did for my son, but it is just so hard for me to see/hear of people who have open relationships with their children that they placed for adoption. And I don't know if I will be able to handle it on the Finale, and so I'm going to fast forward, I've decided to watch it, since I've watched the whole season anyways, but I'll fast forward through the reunion part...then there is another girl, who was suppose to be on last season's 16 & Pregnant, but I've seen her for the new season, and she blogged about her experience with adoption and her decisions, and when she would get people who were trying to give her support she would bad mouth them or get smart with them, but there were people who were just rude to her. But the ones who were nice and trying to help her didn't deserve that, and I don't think it was fair to the adoptive parents or her daughter to flip flop back and forth with yes I'm going to adopt and no I'm not, I mean, she went so far as to give the child to them, and take her back not once, not twice, but I think three times. And that to me is just hurtful. It's one thing to not know what you want to do, and to realize that you've made a mistake, but a child is not a toy or a dog, and you can't just give it back every time things get hard. I'm half curious how they spin it, or show it, and I'm half curious to see what she ended up doing, because I stopped following her blog after the 2nd time of taking her and giving her back. I just couldn't stomach it any more, and I couldn't stomach the rude comments she was getting, and the rude stuff she was saying back to people.
If there is one thing I've learned, in adoption, and in life in general, it's that you honestly can't say what you would or wouldn't do until you've been put in the situation, and what works for me, might not work for you.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
An Apology and Thank You
I think I got pregnant around the same time as some of the girls on the 1st season of 16 & Pregnant and the ones who went on to film Teen Mom. And I think Catelynn and Tyler's story just hit home so much that I wanted to see how they handled things.
I look at their situation and mine. And they are very different but at the same time, so similar.
I'm so grateful for my families support, including my in laws, and I know Catelynn has Tyler and his mom, but I don't know where I would be if it hadn't have been for my dad, mom, Jennie, my brother, my sister and the support group I had during my pregnancy and the few months after. It took me a long time to realize just how blessed I was. No, that's not true, I think I knew how blessed I was, I think I was just so upset and hurt I couldn't see how I was hurting them and how my actions weren't showing that I knew that. I've wanted to reach out and say how deeply sorry I am to those I hurt, and in a way I guess this is my apology, I just don't know how to do it, or what to say, and its just been so long that sometimes I feel like its best to leave well enough alone.
I look back and see how I treated them and acted, and I can't help but blame them for being upset or not wanting anything to do with me. I wouldn't want anything to do with me. I've written an apology in my head numerous times, but it just doesn't ever seem like enough or the right words.
I'm not perfect, and I'm not 100% better yet, and I honestly don't think I will ever be 100% better when it comes to my son, but I'm well enough to see that I took people for granted and I apologize. For everything, for taking ya'll for granted, for acting as if it was no big deal when it really was a huge deal. And I thank you for being there for me through my pregnancy and the few months after, for making sure I got help, for planting the seed. I'm sure words will never be enough to tell ya'll how sorry I am and how much ya'll meant to me and helped me. But to finally write it out feels good.
Amanda
I look at their situation and mine. And they are very different but at the same time, so similar.
I'm so grateful for my families support, including my in laws, and I know Catelynn has Tyler and his mom, but I don't know where I would be if it hadn't have been for my dad, mom, Jennie, my brother, my sister and the support group I had during my pregnancy and the few months after. It took me a long time to realize just how blessed I was. No, that's not true, I think I knew how blessed I was, I think I was just so upset and hurt I couldn't see how I was hurting them and how my actions weren't showing that I knew that. I've wanted to reach out and say how deeply sorry I am to those I hurt, and in a way I guess this is my apology, I just don't know how to do it, or what to say, and its just been so long that sometimes I feel like its best to leave well enough alone.
I look back and see how I treated them and acted, and I can't help but blame them for being upset or not wanting anything to do with me. I wouldn't want anything to do with me. I've written an apology in my head numerous times, but it just doesn't ever seem like enough or the right words.
I'm not perfect, and I'm not 100% better yet, and I honestly don't think I will ever be 100% better when it comes to my son, but I'm well enough to see that I took people for granted and I apologize. For everything, for taking ya'll for granted, for acting as if it was no big deal when it really was a huge deal. And I thank you for being there for me through my pregnancy and the few months after, for making sure I got help, for planting the seed. I'm sure words will never be enough to tell ya'll how sorry I am and how much ya'll meant to me and helped me. But to finally write it out feels good.
Amanda
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Day 12 - Stuff you're OCD about...
I am not sure why I put this on hold, but I did, but I think I'll finish it up, it seems like a waste to not finish it, ha! So here goes....
So I have some stuff that I am OCD about, then stuff that I could just care less about. And some of the stuff I'm OCD about it just plain silly, but anyways...here is what I'm OCD about...
-Numbers...I like EVEN numbers, I hate ODD numbers (except 5), if the volume is 13, I have to make it either 12 or 14, but I also would prefer it to be 15 or end in a zero...
-I love to play the farming games on FB, and I have to have my crops in rows, right now, they're not like I want them, but they're okay for now, but here is order they have to go in - by time of harvest in either descending or ascending order, and in even amounts....
-The way you load the dish washer, I like things to go in a certain way, and I hate running an almost empty dishwasher, fill that sucker up, I mean, not so much where they don't get clean, but enough to where you aren't wasting water...
Anyways, those are the few things...lol
So I have some stuff that I am OCD about, then stuff that I could just care less about. And some of the stuff I'm OCD about it just plain silly, but anyways...here is what I'm OCD about...
-Numbers...I like EVEN numbers, I hate ODD numbers (except 5), if the volume is 13, I have to make it either 12 or 14, but I also would prefer it to be 15 or end in a zero...
-I love to play the farming games on FB, and I have to have my crops in rows, right now, they're not like I want them, but they're okay for now, but here is order they have to go in - by time of harvest in either descending or ascending order, and in even amounts....
-The way you load the dish washer, I like things to go in a certain way, and I hate running an almost empty dishwasher, fill that sucker up, I mean, not so much where they don't get clean, but enough to where you aren't wasting water...
Anyways, those are the few things...lol
Friday, September 17, 2010
Scholarships for Birthmoms
Just something I came across today on another Birthmom's site - it's a scholarship program for Birthmother's, which I think is a totally great idea!!! Especially for the younger girls who got pregnant in high school, or earlier, and wants to further their education later. And who better to give the scholarship than someone who knows exactly what they've been through. I mean, it's great.
It's a non-profit organization, if you donate and want, you can have your name and a link to your website on their website! It was started by a Birthmom. So it's a great idea! Please look into it, and think about donating!
They ask for donations, and I am all about helping them out. Every little bit can help. And you can donate here. They also have a Facebook and a website!
It's a non-profit organization, if you donate and want, you can have your name and a link to your website on their website! It was started by a Birthmom. So it's a great idea! Please look into it, and think about donating!
They ask for donations, and I am all about helping them out. Every little bit can help. And you can donate here. They also have a Facebook and a website!
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