I figured I'd participate in today's topic of Mother's Day Mania, because, well, I have a birth story. And it isn't amazing or wonderful or amazing, but it's unique, or well, not so much in the open adoption world, but it's mine, and it's great! Go see Mama M over at My Little Life to link up and see the other days of Mother's Day Mania!!
Let's start with the fact that my due date was Dec. 11, 2008, and that I had gestastional diabetes. About 2/3 through my pregnancy I switched doctors, I did not like my first doctor, he offered to adopt my son, and that was creepy. Plus he wasn't taking some of my concerns seriously and what have you. Besides, I had heard GREAT things about this midwife, and I was set on NOT doing a c-section, but that's for later, ha!
Because I had GD the midwife did not want me to go past my due date. So, with that being the case, I called the family and said, ok, well, I've had no change, but we're going to have a baby on or before Dec. 11 regardless, so you might as well come on up. I had a doctor's appointment on Monday, Dec. 8, and I thought it would be nice for the adoptive mom to come with me. But I freaked out at the last minute and called a friend FREAKING OUT asking her to meet me there. God love her, she had her WHOLE family packed in the car, and took time out to come with me, she was late, but she was there. I still look back and think about how blessed I really was, I just didn't see it then, and I took things for granted, and I hate that, but it was a bad time in my life. So, anyways, by the time I got to the doctor's office I was ok, not as freaked, and ready to get some news about when the baby would come. The midwife talked with us for a while, and then did a pelvic exam, and decided that I was too small to birth a child of what she thought was a 8 1/2 lbs baby. But to make sure she wasn't wrong, she took us over to the ultra sound room, and we got to see the little guy one more time in my belly, it was very special for the adoptive mom because she had never been around to see an ultra sound, but she had all the pictures. The midwife even gave us some 3D pics, all for free, I loved it! Anways, my midwife said while in the ultra sound room, lets give it another week. You should have seen the faces on the 3 of us in that room. My eyes bugged outta my head so far I think I might have knocked her down. I was like, WOAH WOAH WOAH...you said you didn't want me to go past my due date, AND the adoptive family is already in town, and they can't just come and go as they please. So she was like, OK lets do a c-section this week. So, since my due date was Thursday, Dec. 11, I thought it would be super neat to try and have him on Dec. 10, since my birthday is July 10, and my brother's is January 10, I just thought it was fitting. All worked out and I was able to go in on Dec. 10!
So, I'm chilling at home, waiting for Wednesday, and my old doctor's nurse called to see how I was doing, because I just left, with no reason, no explanation, and so I told her I felt more comfortable with a female, and that I wanted a midwife, but that it seems silly since I'm having a c-section, so my mid wife won't be able to delievery him. So she wished me luck, and then 5 min later called me back, saying that the original doctor wanted to do my c-section. I declined polietly with the excuse that we already had every thing set up. Besides, I was afraid he would try to get my child from me, and not give it to the adoptive family, and I was not going to have that.
So, I went to the hospital for a tour, and to talk to them about the situation, and what was happening. The adoptive mom wanted to be in the room, but I didn't think it was possible, but I asked, and of course they said yes, so I told her they said yes, but that I was going to have to think about it, and let her know the morning of, because I wasn't sure I'd want her there. And the hospital set up the other OR in case I couldn't handle the baby in the same room with me, they had 2 stations set up, and were ready to do what I wanted. It was great, they were wonderful, and I don't think I could have been luckier. So the morning of the delievery, I had a few people there with me, and they waited through the c-section, and were there for me. It was awesome. I allowed the adoptive mom to witness the birth, and I even kissed him and saw him right after he was born, which I was not planning on doing, but I wouldn't change that. I have pictures of me and him, and him and my dad, who I wanted in the room with me, and of me and the adoptive mom and baby, and of adoptive mom and baby. We got lots of them.
After they wisked him away with adoptive mom, they set to work getting me all clean and ready for recovery. I didn't see my son again until the next day. If I had known then what I know now I would have wanted to spend WAY more time with him. I would have asked for alone time with him, but that wasn't what happened. And I had a room full of people when I saw him for the first time after his birth. And he didn't get to spend much time with me, I was so sad. But later that day, I went to his room and spent a few more minutes with him. I cried like a baby when I left him that time. The first night I slept alright, I asked for something to help me sleep, but I think it was an ok night because I knew he was just down the hall. The next night was horrible. Because he got to leave the hopsital, but I had to stay. And then there was the whole leaving the hospital without my son. It was so hard. The next weeks and months were so hard on me, and I got very depressed, but that is for another time. This is suppose to be about his birth. And so that is how my son entered the world.
He weighed 7lbs 9 oz., was 20 3/4 in long and was born at 10:02am
He weighed a lot less than what they thought he would, but that's ok, I wouldn't have changed anything about how he got here. And he actually only weighed 1 oz less than I did when I was born. I remember how much I weighed because it was the same as my birthday, 7/10, ha!