Turns out AM's mother was getting sicker, and it turns out they were going through their own things. I was just too upset to see it, until now. I didn't even send AM a Mother's Day card.
Well, this year, since AM's mother passed last year(and as soon as I found out about it I sent a card expressing my sympathy and love), I thought it might be nice to send her a quick note, just saying Happy Mother's Day, thinking about you often, hope all is well, look forward to hearing from you and getting my update. Nothing too overbearing or rude, I wasn't trying to step on toes, or make them uncomfortable. I am getting anxious about my next update, I should get it in a couple months, and I am almost positive they will send it, but I just wanted to send a note, you know. It was so short, it said Hi, hope all is well, thank you, love you, give my love to the boys, and happy mother's day, looking forward to my next update. I think I might have put a sentence about doing well in Hawaii and enjoying married life. I'd hope they don't take it the wrong way, or think it's too intrusive. I really don't want to ruin my chances of getting that next update. I wasn't even implying I wanted it right now, just that I was looking forward to it, and enjoy them, ha...so we'll see, I am not expecting a card or anything in return, just thought it would be nice for me, as part of my healing. (which is another post on its own, ha)
I just figured since I'm in a better place, I would start sending a card for Mother's Day, and I will more than likely send a Father's Day card. I really wish I had done it last year because the AD will have gone above and beyond in almost 2 years what the Biofather couldn't have even managed in our son's life time, let alone a few short years. The AD is just an amazing guy, loves God, his wife and his boys, in that order (which is how it should be, btw). I don't know what his plans are now, but when we were talking about adoption he was wanting to become a Chaplin in one of the Armed Forces (I can't remember) and he wanted to get a degree from Seminary, and they both wanted to have the AM be able to stay home with the boys. Which is great! Anyways, this is about Mother's Day, not Father's Day, ha! But I think I did a pretty good job picking a family for my son. Sometimes I think that maybe my son wasn't ever meant to be mine, but the adoptive family's son. Like God used me as a surrogate. But I know that he is my son, he's my flesh and blood, I just think God gave him to me, so I could give him to the adoptive family. It helps me to move forward, and helps me to realize I did what was best.
It's late here now, and I'm going to go to bed, LT has been asleep for a few hours now, he has to get up at 3am, so he went to bed early. Thanks for letting me vent, ha!
