Sunday, April 11, 2010


I have been so stinking irritable for the last couple of days. The hubs asked yesterday if I was about start my period. I just go off at the drop of a hat, and I can't figure out why. I shouldn't start my period for another week. Since I'm on the patch, I can pretty much tell you when I'll start and when I'm not suppose to. Since you change it every Sunday (or whenever you want) and the week you don't wear one you're suppose to be on your period. Well, this is the last patch for the month. I changed it this morning. So I shouldn't start for a week. But I think I might just have PMS really bad for a week before I start. I've always been this way. Irritable around that time. And for the most part I can control it. But lately, I just can't. And every little thing is getting me mad. I hate feeling like this. But I just can't seem to get it under control.

I also have been having a hard time concentrating on things I enjoy. Like the community I joined. I find myself just half interested in it. I might just take a break from it, and come back in a day or two. I think some of it stems from the fact that I just feel so behind when I miss stuff for a day or so. Like yesterday, I didn't get a chance to check it until late yesterday (mostly by the time everyone else was gone) and I just felt overwhelmed with all I missed. I'm working on this and trying to figure it out.

My psych thinks that when I feel overwhelmed it is because I just don't want to do something. And that might be true on some things. But I want to chat on the community, I want to blog, I want to design stuff on Photo shop. But maybe I don't want to clean the house, or pick up trash, but I need to. And I know I should. Some times I do use being overwhelmed as an excuse. But for the most part. I don't know where to start with cleaning, and I don't know how to do it. I've gotten a lot of good advice, and I have been trying to get motivated to try it. I just can't. I don't know why. But I can't. We did get the bathroom cleaned, I just have to do the shower. Which I will later, because I'm about to go to another baby shower.

I haven't been sleeping well either. Last night I think since I had been out in the sun most the day I was just so tired that it didn't take long for my night time meds to work, but I just don't feel refreshed, or renewed now. I feel so tired. And I've felt like that for a few days now. I got super shaky and dizzy the other day. I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I ate and drank a coke, thinking that might help. And it did for a bit, but then I just felt that way again. And yesterday after we had been at the first baby shower, which was at the beach, it was so pretty. I just was so tired, I didn't want to do anything. We had stuff to do, and the hubs wanted me to drive, but I told him there was no way I could drive, I was just too tired. And he wanted to take forever in the store we went to, and I just wanted to go home.

Anyways, gonna get going, going to a baby shower! It won't be the last, we have so many pregnant ladies in my hubs battalion since they just got back from Iraq! I think there are only a select few of ladies who aren't pregnant within the battalion, and we are one of them, and we are hoping to stay that way for a while. We want to be more financially stable before we go and have a kid. And I want to have a routine down for the house, and keeping it clean, and what not. But we do want children, so bad. There was a 9 month old little girl at the baby shower yesterday, and watching the hubs hold her made me want one so bad, and I was like, are you sure you don't want one now, and he was like, yes...but he just looked SO good holding one. But we will wait. And when we do have kids, it'll be great!


S.I.F. said...

You can get through this lady! And don't let yourself feel overwhelmed on the community! That is the LAST place you should be stressing about!

Amanda said...

Thanks so much for your kind words.

The funny thing about all my depression and anixety problems, is I'm so logical about it all. I know I shouldn't feel that way, but I do. Silly really...