Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Mother's Day Question Answered

Ronnie and Suzi @ New Languages, New Loves asked the following question, so I thought since Mother's Day is right around the corner I would touch on this subject!

Great post again. As we approach Mother's day, I often wonder what is the best way to acknowledge this day with our son's birth mom. If you are comfortable, I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

That is a GREAT question. It is a tough subject, and a very touchy subject. The thing about Birth Mother's is not every Birth Mother is the same. Some take things very hard, other's not so much. I know my parents and friends and family had no idea what to do for me on that day.

The one when I was pregnant my father bought me a teddy bear that was bare foot and had an ice cream cone w/ a pickle on top and her shirt said "bear foot and pregnant" it was super cute. He took his girlfriend and me to dinner (which I then threw up after ward since I had hyperemesis). The next Mother's Day he got me a gift card to Bath & Body Works and took us to lunch again, that I did not throw up after ward! My brother even wished me a happy Mother's Day.

From a stand point of my family and friends, I had a GREAT Mother's Day, but my adoptive family did not acknowledge me AT ALL. They even ended our Facebook friendship around that time, when they told me in Jan. they were going to end it then. So I got very upset about how that went down. We never talked about how holidays were going to go, or if we would even acknowledge them. I just figured they would want to pay some respect to me since if it weren't for me they wouldn't have him. We didn't even talk about our Facebook friendships when talking about how much contact. I just assumed they would continue to be my friends like they were before I had him. We talked daily, she would message me on Facebook daily asking me questions, and what have you. I felt like they used me as an incubator, and all they wanted was my child, and they could care less about me. That was a very low place for me, because I hated feeling that way, and I would like to believe I was wrong in thinking that. But I got over it. I moved on, and since they didn't do anything for me last year, I am not expecting anything this year.

Side note: I should be getting an update in June, seeing as he'll be 1 1/2, and I'm suppose to get an update every 6 months now.

Anyways, there is something you might be interested in....Not many people know about it, because it isn't a holiday that is recognized by a lot of people, but it's called Birth Mother's Day. Here is an article about it and when it is, and what it is. It doesn't really make sense to me when Birth Mother's Day is, because it says it is the Saturday before Mother's Day, so I don't know if they mean the week before, or the day before. I think it is the day before Mother's Day, because I found this list of Holidays(and it had a date by the holidays), you should take a look, there are some bizarre things going on in May. (Here is a link about Mother's Day)

Birth Mother's Day is just another way you can THANK your birth mother for the gift she gave you. She should be honored, and you should tell her often how grateful you are for what she's done.